Photo by Jackson Simmer

Blog By Matthew Habchi | June 29th, 2021

The abuser continues to abuse because of two reasons:

1)     
They themselves were abused & have not done
the work to heal their hardwired trauma

2)     
They prey on people who are weak or sensitive,
and these people are less likely to call them out or tell them they’ve done
something wrong.

We eradicate point (1) by talking about it, so there is
awareness in our society and amongst bullies themselves. And we encourage the
bullies to get help!

We deal with point (2) by helping those who cannot stand up
for themselves.

And so it comes back to this, Always, always trust how you
feel! Your heart is your divine compass, connected to your higher self. It
knows only truth, you can trust it, you can rely on it. The stomach is similar &
it has its own brain, you can feel it, you can respond to it.

(Here’s a quick daily exercise which will help: Set a timer
for 60 seconds, sit comfortably, place your hands over your heart, close your
eyes & take in a deep breath, then exhale. Repeat for the duration. This
will create heart/mind coherence. It will help regulate your heartbeat; help you
relax, & it will link your mind & heart so they can work together coherently.
It will assist you in your critical thinking & it will balance your emotions.
Practice for 60 seconds per day & watch change happen.)

So if your gut or heart tells you there’s something wrong,
DON’T put your-self in harm’s way.

You are not obliged or obligated to look after the wounded. You
MUST however, learn to look after yourself. No one can do that for you, only
you can do that For You.

Bullying exists everywhere & sometimes on a very subtle
level, but even that is Not ok. So, if you over hear it in your office, or in
the supermarket or on the street where you live. Say something. And if you’re
too afraid, ask someone for help.

If we bury our heads in the sand, the problem doesn’t go away.

 And it will eventually come full circle back to us in some way, shape or form.

So, we must learn to stand in our truth.

By confronting a bully, even when it’s scary to do so, you
are changing a pattern. You are shifting a cycle. You are directly telling
them, it’s NOT OK.

You may think you haven’t made an impact, but you truly
have! And you will feel empowered by it & you will cease to let others
treat you any less than you deserve.

The bully may retaliate, it is Most important that you Do
Not react. Do not re-act, you can’t overcome fear with fear. Only Love can overcome fear.

Stand your ground, don’t put up with bullies, otherwise the viscous
cycle continues & we allow the wounded to carry on wounding others.

Do yourself a favour, put yourself first & give clear
boundaries. That way you won’t feel taken advantage of again.

We all come across bullies in our daily interactions, we are
all exposed to this. If not directly, then indirectly. And as humans, I believe
we have a responsibility to ourselves and for future generations, to put an end
to the suffering.

I was bullied in my early years of high school. It was the
norm, you didn’t tell anyone, because it was “normal”. But it’s far from normal,
it’s far from the truth and it’s far from Who We Really Are. So, we must lead
by example, for that is the only real way to effect lasting change.